like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
