OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
