Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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