walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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