did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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