Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
