Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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