she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
