What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
