there's paper in my vomit.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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