You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
