At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
