no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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