please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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