the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
