he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
