Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
