Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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