I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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