My brain says no but my pants say off.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
