actually, I'm a sock model
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
