so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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