jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
