Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
