Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
