Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
