There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
