i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
