I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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