I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
