Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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