At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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