On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
