..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
