...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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