worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
