Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
