I faked an abortion last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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