I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
