Kiss
Puke
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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