At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
