I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
