just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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