why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
