ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
