I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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