there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
