i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
