I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
