Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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