You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your cock deserves a montage
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
