Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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